A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage。
"Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"
"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back。
"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."
一位车上的列车员刚发出信号让火车启动,这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边,跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。
“快点,小姐!”他喊道:“请把门关上。”
“噢,我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。”她回答道。
“请把门关上好了,”列车员说:“其余的事由我负责。”
2
One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn't that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What's time to a pig?"
3
Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger man. Will said, “Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it。”
Bill wasn't impressed, “Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father's the one who killed it!”
谁的父亲更强壮
威尔和比尔在为谁的父亲更强壮而争吵。威尔说:“喏,你知道太平洋吗?就是我爸爸为它挖的洞。”
比尔不屑一顾:“噢,那没什么。你知道死海吗?那是我爸爸杀死的。”
4
A teacher said to her class:
"Who was the first man?"
“George Washington," a little boy shouted promptly。
"How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?" asked the teacher, smiling indulgently。
"Because, " said the little boy, "he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen."
But at this point a larger boy held up his hand。
"Well," said the teacher to him, "who do you think was the first man?"
"I don't know what his name was," said the larger boy, "but I know it wasn't George Washington, ma'am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him."
7
Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant。
"I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole place shines."
"Please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"